Be one of Us........

So today I am thinking about conformity.....the need to fit in to a set of rules which somehow define us. In yoga there is a correct way to do a pose........who defined this? A religion says that you cannot show affection in public....so people become ultimately unhappy to conform to some arcane rule.
The big question, I think, is why is important to create these parameters for behavior? And is there a way to identify these rules we place upon ourselves and how they effect ourselves and the people around us.
Can we consider how these self imposed rules effect those around us, and can we become open to other points of view, or does intollerance eventually lead to the dissolution of personal relationships and eventually society?